My Real Life

We're ahead of schedule by a few months now.
Some may think I'm strange for it but I always have my reasons. Even if I can't always remember what they are at the time I'm asked for them.

Summers are busy for me. Artists play hard in the warm months. It's a time of showing what you did during hibernation season, getting together to collaborate on fun, big projects and the fairest season for art and music festivals. When I was younger and thought a life of art and festivals would be easy and adventurous - I made a pact with myself to become a professional festivaler. Nowhere else is the air so strongly charged with imagination, innovation and revelation than at a big art/music festival.

And a pro I became, I even organized a few of my own over the years. It's not easy and fun is the name of the game, but it takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get there when you're an active artist. It's not enough to just go camp and be a tourist - I have the overwhelming urge to participate, contribute and create big. So I do. I've learned a lot about myself, my society, my communities, my friends, my family, my world - all from going to and participating in (organizing, planning) artist events and festivals.

And so, this year is not unlike every year for the last 10 for me. Even with a wedding coming up. I'm ahead, I can stop and focus on my art for a time. Build my connections in this world, juice up my brain and show Martin the full energy, positive and raring to go side of me.

Today was a crazy day for me. I was on an assisted living program, today I signed with a notary a notice that I am leaving the program and my current residence when my lease is up. My security net is about to disappear, I asked Martin if he's ready for this and he said yes. It makes me tremble a little since he's still job hunting, but there's a few leads which are already sounding promising. I remain positive for our future and that we're doing the right thing. For me there's no backing out now, I must believe and commit to US - it's slowly sinking in, I've not gone this far into trusting someone in a very long time.

This weekend is the first of festivals for us (we're only doing 2 this year because of the job situation. Thankfully I have it figured out very cheaply after so many years of it.) He's stressed and I'm stressed and it's definitely showing us each other's true faces. The honeymoon isn't over though, we're continuing to amaze each other more each day. These things always put relationships to the test in extreme ways.

Martin is amazing and wonderful. I am so lucky to have found him.

PS the engagement party was wonderful but went by in a huge blur for both of us. We are blessed to have so many loved ones surrounding us.