Family

The dress fitting went fantastically!
So many women showed up, half with kids in tow. My mother, maternal grandmother and aunt, sister-in-law (my brother's wife), his mother and 7 or 8 of my closer female friends attended.

The dress fits wonderfully, there's a few problems which need to be fixed but we're going to wait until closer to the day since I'm now on a strict diet and exercise regimen to get back down to a healthier weight.

The table of projects and things already acquired looked great. It'll be a lovely reception hall when everything's set up. A vision is now forming solidly in my head of where everything goes and what the final look will be. There's a few things I still need to consider, like where in the world do we put the coat racks which are currently standing where I want our wedding party/cake table to be?

Having his mother there was nice, she was able to meet the women who helped to shape me into the woman I am today. (Aunt Mary, Granny and Mom had the greatest influence on me throughout my childhood in learning how to be a woman, wife and mother.) She was able to meet my girlfriends and see how supported and loved both Martin and I are. She and my family were able to see that we have a ready and waiting community of families to build our family foundation with, to raise our children in and they were able to see me interact with a large age range of children.

Animals and children adore me, from first sight most kids want to talk to and play with me. If the old saying is true, that you can tell the character of a person by how small children and animals react to them - then I'm a pretty good person. They always want to have my attention and love to be around me, even when I have to discipline them for wrong behavior. I adore children of all ages and believe in treating them as equals who are still gathering the basic information needed to survive in this world. They regard Martin the same as they do me and he's very similar in beliefs.

We never even considered having our wedding and reception be child-free, instead almost 1/3 of the guest list is 16 yrs or younger. A large majority of those are between 2 and 9.

Last night we spent several hours with his family, since the brother directly above him in age is in town with his son this weekend. It went rather well. We're trying to make sure his family feels included in everything and has every opportunity to participate on a level they are comfortable with. I cannot but help to include my immediate family on my end of things, it's only fair that his side is given the same consideration.

This is the part in a relationship I've never had before: the inclusion of the families. It's very odd and causes some anxiety on my part just from the unfamiliarity of it. Eventually this awkwardness will go away and I'll wonder what I was so worried about to begin with.

Next month we're going to visit my father in Missouri. He and his wife are excited that we're coming out, I haven't seen him since my brother was married in 2005 and I haven't visited since my 10 year reunion in 2001. They have been looking forward to communicating with and meeting Martin.

(I think my family had given up on me ever finding someone to marry and have a family with. They seem so relieved that Martin and I found each other! LOL The main topic besides the wedding these days is "When can we expect grandbabies??")

It's awfully funny to witness the change in people's behavior towards me now that I'm being made an "honest woman" by Martin. Some old beliefs are hard to break on the women's lib front it seems...

Ok, enough rambling about family for now. This coming Saturday is our Engagement Party at Enzo's End Pizzaria. The two families meet for the first time and many of our friends will be there as well - hopefully it'll be an easy merging of two worlds and not a collision!

The Martha in us all

...
I was taught to be crafty as a child.
I learned how to cross stitch and make all kinds of homemade crafts through my maternal aunt and the ladies at all the churches we attended.

(My father is a Baptist Mininster who used to travel around the Midwest countryside as a temp pastor when other pastors left, died or just went on a much needed family vacation.)

I've always had an over abundance of craftiness and creative vision.
If I have all the supplies for any one project, I can do it.
From crocheting a baby blanket to building a riveted metal bar hood to creating decoupage follies.
I don't do flower arranging, unless someone wants me to accidentally summon the Elder Gods of Doom with floral voodoo dolls of them, as I've said before.

Currently I'm making at least 100 lightcatchers - prisms and glass beads in a pretty pattern on a thin wire to be hung on trees and decorations to create rainbows and sparkles everywhere.

I've taken a plain white birdcage from Oriental Trading Company and with paint, ribbon and fabric am transforming it into a faerie birdcage for all of our envelope gifts to go into. Little decoupage faeries will hang off the outside of it eventually as well.

I'm decoupaging paper mache boxes to hold old fashioned hard candies and butter mints on all the tables. I've done one as an example already.

I'm doing our invitations myself, with Martin's help - he does all the printing and editing.

I made all of the recycled paper myself, created the organic green dye for them out of spinach leaves (and a little food coloring to balance the yellow tinge out.)

I need to create one of my mini tree centerpieces tonight to bring to the dress fitting tomorrow.

I want to have at least one prototype of all the little projects which need to get done, to show them all tomorrow. I figured if I'm going to ask for help, it's only fair to present them with a hands-on example of what I'm wanting.

And tomorrow... oh man, I am so stressed out about tomorrow and the dress fittings and the schmutz of being surrounded by mostly women for an extended period of time! I hope it all works right, I have a ton of stuff to do between now and then. Not much time to do it either as I have to go to the airport to pick up Ethel and her baby girl today and a small get together tonight at 7pm to attend. Oy Vey!

Hopefully I'll remember everything. Must make a list of things I want to come with me!!
Now off to make our breakfast, get dressed and go out to find sticks for the centerpiece, then run over to hobby lobby to pick up more ribbon and the cross stitch pattern/ embroidery thread for the cake table tablecloth. I'm doing one corner and Mom wants to do the rest...

All this on allergy meds and with a cat who won't let me sleep past 9am no matter what time I go to bed. *YAWN*

Dresses, Flowers and other girlie things

The correct wedding dress arrived and it's the perfect shade of rose pink! With it arrived Stephanie's Maid of Honor (MoH) dress - it's a magnificent dress, midnight blue with platnium embroidery and beading, I'm actually jealous of her dress!

The camera we had on hand at my Mom's house is terrible and demon-possessed. The angle the lens is pointing in is hard to gauge (and by no means close to normal center within the viewfinder!) So you get fuzzy, half peeks at what they look like. I'm almost thinking it's better this way until appropriate pictures can be taken with them on us!

My dress:
Stephanie's dress:

Alyssa, my Junior Maid of Honor and my 16 year old daughter (who I gave up in an open adoption at birth) has a beautiful indigo Purple dress which fades to a purplish-white and has rhinestones, it's in the same design as Stephanie's but not the same material. We bought it for her at Dillards at the end of prom season. A friend is making her matching jacket for me in green.
Since we are all wearing different dresses and colors, we decided the best way for cohesion (and to keep warm in Colorado's December) is to all wear the same style of jacket. My colors are Blue Green and Purple, since nobody is wearing green, we all thought having Alyssa wear a green jacket with her purple dress would do fabulously instead.


I do not have a green thumb and don't know the names of most flowers. I'm also terrible at flower arranging, I tend to create flora versions of Lovecraftian creatures by accident. Seriously, I should take pictures of Cthulu Jr and Lil Astoroth so you can all see. (These are silk flower arrangements I tried to put together for my bridal bouquet!)
This is one of the few things I'm going with a professional for, just for the wedding party.

Kathy at Sturtz and Copeland in Boulder has been a dream to work with! Below is what she's planning for my bridal party flowers.

My bridal bouquet will consist of: white oriental lilies, green cymbidium orchid blooms, purple and/or blue anemones, a touch of blue delphinium, a cascade of white and green dendrobium orchids accented with mistletoe attached to ribbons, ivy, and misc greens arranged in a basket .

My attendants will carry handtied bouquets consisting of blue and or purple anemones, green
cymbidium blooms, blue delphium, lavender freesia, burgandy dahlias framed in a mix of greenery.

Basket of mixed flowers in the same colors and feel for flowergirl.
Toss bouquet in a mix of flowers with the same colors as bridal bouquet.

I believe the guys will have either the green cymbidium orchid blooms or the white and green dendrobium orchids for their boutonniere's.

Slowly things are coming together, I've figured out how we're doing the invitations and am almost done with the writing of it. I want to have a prototype ready for the dress fitting this Saturday.

The ladies in my life are gathering to see the dresses on us and look at what projects I have for whoever wants to help out. Since I'm going almost completely homemade and recycle/reuse on the decorations, there's A Lot of projects and it's easier to have prototypes which can be picked up and looked at than to have me try to explain the visions in my head.

Ok, time to go make more sheets of paper for the invitations. Backaching work, it takes a long time to make as much paper as we need. Anyone want to help? LOL

Invitation Eureka

We've been reading this book which Alan and Mercedes loaned us.
It's called OffBeat Bride ~ Taffeta-Free Alternatives For Independent Brides by Ariel Meadow Stallings.

I love some of the things she says and she cusses almost like a fake sailor, plus she makes up kooky titles for things, like: a Bridentity Crisis.

Ariel talks about things like alternative invitations and programs, when the groom is more feminist than the bride, and what to do when the conservative relatives and/or well-meaning creative friends try to take over.

Some things we already have covered, others though - the ideas she has given us!

I'm designing our invitations again. I talked it over with Martin and Mom, they both think it's a good idea as long as I can pull it off. I'm going to start the process of making the first prototypes tomorrow. The first stage will take a week for each batch. I'm handmaking and dying paper for most of it. Martin's working on the background of the printable parts of the invitations (you can't really print on the paper I make, we'll use sticker paper attached to it but that means we can print a cool design around the wording.)

In addition, because we can't afford to pay for a fully catered meal for 100 people, we are instead donating the amount of food we could afford to our hosting church's favorite food bank for homeless families in need. It's not the thousands we'd spend on catering and as my Mom said: "Instead of feeding people who can feed themselves, we're giving food to those who can't."

We'll be recommending people bring more canned goods to the wedding and add to the amount we donate. Instead we have friends and family who insist on making the fingerfoods we'll be serving at the family reception and we're paying for a beginning appetizer buffet and have access for people to order their own meals (and pay for themselves) with a full restaurant menu at the friends reception.

Both of us are really in love with the idea. There have been times in the past where myself and others I know have fallen on hard times and had to utilize a food bank. This is an excellent way to give back during a global recession.

I'm really excited about these new aspects. Of course as a former event organizer, this is right up my alley. I love throwing a great party and this one is no different. I want to transform the space into a magical wonderland for everyone, but especially for us and why shouldn't we, it's our day to celebrate us.

Engagement Photos

We're dorks, we know it and revel in it.
Hence we decided that it would be fun to dress up like a 1950s couple ala JR Bob Dobbs and Harriette Nelson.

I'll let the photos speak for themselves, we had a ton of fun - Alan Gerow is the photographer and was wonderful to work with.

There'll be more as we resize and edit the best out of almost 400 taken.